The things i hate about weddings

weddings. These are supposed to be great communions in which two people who are ready to dedicate themselves to each other FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES are joined. I say that in caps because that is an important thought one must keep in mind when aspiring to this event. Too many people now days rush into marriage with glee thoughts and no worries; only for it to end is tragedy and mayhem. Yet if you are one of those lucky souls who has really found that special person, that the more power to you. The rest of your life will be a blessing in which you share with your companion. While the thought and act of marriage is all fine and dandy, the actual event and reception can often be something short of the spawn of satan.

Bells. Many of you at this very moment are groaning, while others are giggling. STOP IT. STOP GIGGLING. If you don't know what I am talking about, here is the scoop: at the reception when the newly weds are in the room, you can ring a bell... This is supposed to trigger an instinct like response in them and they must magically kiss. While i can see how this would be cute the first time or two... Or even funny to catch them off guard with mouths full of food... Yet i fail to see the wonder in seeing them kiss... over... and over... and over... Why must i hear the repetition of bells to see them kiss 100 times in an hour? Why would you place bells on every table? are you stupid? What kind of sick freak gets off and seeing them kiss that often?

Threats during toasts... Why would you do this? your toast is supposed to be something remarkable and breath taking. Not threatening and offensive. "If you ever hurt her... i will come after you" or "if you ever make her anything but happy, i will find you". I can understand the importance of getting this message across... but why would you do this in a toast to your best friend of your life? why would you place that awkwardness in their one moment of happiness. Why not say something like "i wish you all the happiness in the world, and hope that your love lasts longer and burns brighter than the sun itself" Why not something moving and inspirational?

While we are on the topic of brides maids and the groom mates or whatever they are called. Why is there always one or two who are so self absorbed that they cannot have the spot light off of them for one instant? refusing to let the person they "care for so deeply" enjoy their reception and be the spotlight. How can you be so self absorbed? What is wrong with those people? I cannot stand those bastards who must do something dramatic or flashy just so their ego can sustain a size bigger than a giant Hindenburg zeppelin.

Parents. I can understand if you were unable to find a baby sitter. I can even understand if you're young young toddler or infant wont stop crying. What i cannot understand is those parents who cannot keep a control on their children. Kids riding SKATEBOARDS in the reception building?! running back and forth, screaming, rolling on the ground. What happened to the day when a parent could just look at a child and you would know you were doing something wrong? An example: child A would NOT stop ringing the bell. child B asked child A to stop very politely. Child A only became more obnoxious. Child B very calmly informed the parent. the parent told Child A to stop. Child A, screamed at the parent and kept rining the bell. Parent did nothing. NOTHING?! I'm sorry but my parents would have whupped my ass right there. Dragged my sorry butt outside and put me in my place. Parents are lacking in their responsibilities these days.

the last thing for this post is more of a pet peeve... The cake. why can you not buy a good cake? You spend so much money on the wedding... why would you not splurge on the cake? its always so dry... and... stuff. Probably frozen. Damnit, i want my wedding cake to be made the same day of my wedding for ultimate freshness.

The end.

New blog

So, i decided to start a new blog.. where i could rant. This will more than likely be nothing other than that.